[two deep male voice]
[show tune opening] Well Seymour I made it, despite your directions
Ah Superintendent Chalmers
I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon
oh egads, my roast is ruined
But what if..
I were to purchase fast food
And disguise it as my own cooking?
[soundeffect] Ho ho ho
Delightfully devilish Seymour..
[two deep male voice]
[song because minor, devil swing, electric swing]
Skinner with his crazy explanations,
The superintendent's gonna need his medication,
When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations,
There'll be trouble in town tonight!
Seeee-mooooouuur!
[Climactic crescendo]
Seeee-mooooouuur!
[deep male voices]
Superintendent! I was just...
just stretching my calves on the windowsill. Isometric exercise! Care to join me?
Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
[faster]
Uh... ooh! That isn't smoke, it's steam!
Steam from the steamed clams we're having.
Mmmm, steamed clams!
[Marching band snippet]
You call hamburgers 'steamed hams'?
Yes! It's a regional dialect.
Uh-huh. Er, what region?
Uh...upstate New York?
Really? Well, I'm from Utica
And I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'steamed hams'.
Oh, not in Utica, no. It's an Albany expression.
I see.
[song become very swung and jazzy]
You know, these hamburgers are quite similar
To the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
Hohoho, no! Patented Skinner Burgers. Old family recipe!
For steamed hams?
[vocals desperate]
Yes.
Yes, and you call them steamed hams,
Despite the fact they are obviously grilled?
Uh.. you know, the... One thing I should... excuse me for one second.
Ahh, Well, that was wonderful. A good time was had by all. I'm pooped.
Yes, I should be- GOOD LORD, WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE?!!
[retun to theme song, swing, bar club music]
[singing, male voices deep, duet]
Aurora borealis?
Ah- AURORA BOREALIS!? AT THIS TIME OF YEAR, AT THIS TIME OF DAY, IN THIS PART OF THE COUNTRY, LOCALIZED ENTIRELY WITHIN YOUR KITCHEN!?
[highest climax of song]
Yes!!!
...May I see it?
...No.
[funny old lady voice] SEYMOUR, THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!
[Musical tension]
No, mother, it's just the Northern Lights! Hahah!
Well, Seymour, you are an odd fellow, but I must say... you steam a good ham.
[old lady voice]
HEEEELP!!! HEEEELP!!
[end of song, broadway style]