Haribo Hellfire (See you in hell, Haribo Sugar-Free Gummi Bears)

Such pain and urgent sorrow, no mortal should endure

Those bears inside me raging, their intent was all but pure

[Verse 5]

So heed my woeful tale, take my plight to heart

Those bears, they're not a blessing, but a devilish work of art

I chased them all with fire, buried them in the ground

Let this be a lesson of the pain that I have found

[Verse 1]

I thought I had a blessing, straight from heaven's shelf

A bag of Haribo, I could keep all to myself

Sweet paradise in each bite, joy within each chew

But never did I reckon, they'd betray me like they do

[Chorus]

Don't think that they're harmless 'cause they know what they're doin'

They'll burn you like the whiskey in the glass that you're pursuin'

[Verse 2]

Judgment day came swift, like a summer storm's rage

With a trip to the throne room, a porcelain stage

A heavenly gift, now a curse in disguise

A symphony of agony, no sweet lullabies

[Chorus]

They looked like a blessing, a chewy delight

But they waged a war in my guts through the night

Opened the gates to a sweetened descent

From heaven's own hand, to hell they were sent

[Verse 6]

In less than a wink, my buckle flew wide

My pants hit the floor, sweet relief I'd soon find

But oh the release, was a devil's parade

A river of fire, in porcelain laid

Well, my legs went kinda weak, and my face turned mighty pale

A mistake of mythic proportions, like Jonah and the whale

Oh, I thought I'd found a treasure, one man's sweet, sugary loot

But those gummies, they went Judas, with each and every fruit

[Verse 7]

With a prayer and a whimper, on my humble throne I rest

A candy-coated nightmare put my bowels to the test

When I unleashed the deluge, I tell no lie or jest

With every groan and tumult, my soul was dispossessed

I thought it was a blessing, that sugary cascade

But them bears, they left me weepin', in the mess that they had made

[Chorus]

Oh, the bears, beguiling with their shine and their sheen

Turned out to be tricksters, not a treat but a mean

There I sat in that stall, like the last cowboy stand

As the sugared beasts thundered over plain intestine land

Galloping gummies, they seemed a heavenly treat

Oh Lord, didn’t know they’d bring me such defeat

Now listen here folks, heed the words that I say

Don’t trust those sugar-free devils, keep 'em far away