[Piano]
Crooked teeth?
Balding hair?
Not content with the skin you wear?
I, Willie the Fixer, with my tools in tow
Promise you a future, where confidence
Flows!
[Instrumental]
Frowning faces, gather 'round, listen here
Let me ply you with an offer, lean in close, but have no fear
I've got gears and springs for sorrows, bolts for brains that ache
Come trade your fleshy follies, embrace the mechanical take
[Instrumental Break with violin, cello, fiddle, and xylophone]
[Bridge]
I'm not the madman's muse, just a tinker in tempo, see?
Let the swingin' sway, while your troubles they will flee
[Drop]
You there with the gut, so round and wide, a history of diets that you have tried
But Willie's here with a plan so valid, no more eating those sad sad salads
Young man yes you with the chin so meek, come see Willie and you'll get what you seek
A jaw of steel, with a chiseled line, let's cast away that weak design
Hey there miss, no need for disgrace, but folks been callin' you a 'butter face'
A sculptor's dream, beneath, I swear, that rough marble I'll buff and repair
Now I see, your hubby steaming, thinks I'm rude or perhaps I'm scheming
You seem tense let's make amends, I’ve got a deal that'll make some sense
[Build Up]
With no hidden charge or added price
[Build Up]
I'll throw in an extra cup size
[Instrumental]
[Instrumental]
I'm the saint of steal, a surgeon with a spring
The maestro of metal, the steam-powered king!
[Instrumentals]
Hunchback posture, crooked spine? Stand up tall, you'll look divine!
Vanish wrinkles, scars begone, new skin shines like morning's dawn
Joints that ache and crack with pain, these ball bearings for your strain
Porcelain teeth with a diamond shine, chew through metal, it's supper time
Come with a cough or a chronic wheeze?
I've got a cure, for all of these!