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[Piano]

Crooked teeth?

Balding hair?

Not content with the skin you wear?

I, Willie the Fixer, with my tools in tow

Promise you a future, where confidence

Flows!

[Instrumental]

Frowning faces, gather 'round, listen here

Let me ply you with an offer, lean in close, but have no fear

I've got gears and springs for sorrows, bolts for brains that ache

Come trade your fleshy follies, embrace the mechanical take

[Instrumental Break with violin, cello, fiddle, and xylophone]

[Bridge]

I'm not the madman's muse, just a tinker in tempo, see?

Let the swingin' sway, while your troubles they will flee

[Drop]

You there with the gut, so round and wide, a history of diets that you have tried

But Willie's here with a plan so valid, no more eating those sad sad salads

Young man yes you with the chin so meek, come see Willie and you'll get what you seek

A jaw of steel, with a chiseled line, let's cast away that weak design

Hey there miss, no need for disgrace, but folks been callin' you a 'butter face'

A sculptor's dream, beneath, I swear, that rough marble I'll buff and repair

Now I see, your hubby steaming, thinks I'm rude or perhaps I'm scheming

You seem tense let's make amends, I’ve got a deal that'll make some sense

[Build Up]

With no hidden charge or added price

[Build Up]

I'll throw in an extra cup size

[Instrumental]

[Instrumental]

I'm the saint of steal, a surgeon with a spring

The maestro of metal, the steam-powered king!

[Instrumentals]

Hunchback posture, crooked spine? Stand up tall, you'll look divine!

Vanish wrinkles, scars begone, new skin shines like morning's dawn

Joints that ache and crack with pain, these ball bearings for your strain

Porcelain teeth with a diamond shine, chew through metal, it's supper time

Come with a cough or a chronic wheeze?

I've got a cure, for all of these!