Such pain and urgent sorrow, no mortal should endure
Those bears inside me raging, their intent was all but pure
[Verse 5]
So heed my woeful tale, take my plight to heart
Those bears, they're not a blessing, but a devilish work of art
I chased them all with fire, buried them in the ground
Let this be a lesson of the pain that I have found
[Verse 1]
I thought I had a blessing, straight from heaven's shelf
A bag of Haribo, I could keep all to myself
Sweet paradise in each bite, joy within each chew
But never did I reckon, they'd betray me like they do
[Chorus]
Don't think that they're harmless 'cause they know what they're doin'
They'll burn you like the whiskey in the glass that you're pursuin'
[Verse 2]
Judgment day came swift, like a summer storm's rage
With a trip to the throne room, a porcelain stage
A heavenly gift, now a curse in disguise
A symphony of agony, no sweet lullabies
[Chorus]
They looked like a blessing, a chewy delight
But they waged a war in my guts through the night
Opened the gates to a sweetened descent
From heaven's own hand, to hell they were sent
[Verse 6]
In less than a wink, my buckle flew wide
My pants hit the floor, sweet relief I'd soon find
But oh the release, was a devil's parade
A river of fire, in porcelain laid
Well, my legs went kinda weak, and my face turned mighty pale
A mistake of mythic proportions, like Jonah and the whale
Oh, I thought I'd found a treasure, one man's sweet, sugary loot
But those gummies, they went Judas, with each and every fruit
[Verse 7]
With a prayer and a whimper, on my humble throne I rest
A candy-coated nightmare put my bowels to the test
When I unleashed the deluge, I tell no lie or jest
With every groan and tumult, my soul was dispossessed
I thought it was a blessing, that sugary cascade
But them bears, they left me weepin', in the mess that they had made
[Chorus]
Oh, the bears, beguiling with their shine and their sheen
Turned out to be tricksters, not a treat but a mean
There I sat in that stall, like the last cowboy stand
As the sugared beasts thundered over plain intestine land
Galloping gummies, they seemed a heavenly treat
Oh Lord, didn’t know they’d bring me such defeat
Now listen here folks, heed the words that I say
Don’t trust those sugar-free devils, keep 'em far away